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Confession: I still frequent our memories and wonder what went wrong,
haunted by an aching heart and a grown-up understanding
that I was powerless to anything but my own grief.
I closed for business, part in retreat, part due to fear,
choosing instead to idle in much-needed comfort and love of my favourite people.
Someday I will be open again, but even now I know
it won’t be without stubborn resistance, hesitation, and too much contemplation.
God bless the next man who tries to conquer my heart!
3WW words: frequent, open, someday
I wish we didn’t have to sacrifice time for money. I admit, I love that you had the funds to treat me to things every now and again, but with this trip coming up and your job chaining you to the desk for the past month through to the last two days I’m in New York (to see you!), I’d rather that you just had time for me. Everything got completely tangled up – nothing we envisioned for the precious time we have together seems to be working out, instead, it’s all tumbling and falling around us, and we are powerless to stop it.
I’m trying to understand the demands of your job, and although I think I’ve made progress, I wish I understood more how your job and I are mutually exclusive when it comes to you. I’m not sure how much longer I can date someone who doesn’t have time for me, but I guess we’ll see how it goes. In the meantime, I’ll be praying that I don’t leave New York with a head full of disappointment and a breaking heart.
Didn’t have it in me to write a poem, or a proper short story, or anything more ‘formal’. Feeling rather crappy, as you can tell if you actually read through my thing. Sigh.
3WW words: Money, tangled, understood
I am afraid that when I see you
the ‘I love you’ waiting in my mouth will tumble out
and leave the aftertaste of regret behind;
lately it’s been fighting to escape,
but I’ve managed to keep my mouth shut.
One week,
until we are back to where the second chapter of Us began,
back in September:
reunited in your apartment after eight years,
high on the excitement of strange familiarity;
waking up and smiling, even though
we never touched in the night;
Love’s first embrace wrapping her
warm arms around our hearts (again).
Feelings have dipped high and low since then,
from high-flying, head-over-heels-in-love euphoria,
to the numb sadness that weighed down my heart.
Still, I am eager to turn the page,
the romantic in me hoping
that the end in store for us
is a happily ever after.
Pandora nearly killed the world with her curiosity;
I only hope that the little wisp of hope she let out
doesn’t kill me.
© Copyright Clueless Cat @ http://twentysomethingandclueless.wordpress.com 2008
3WW words: apartment, began, numb
I walked past my shadow twice today.
It was dragging its feet,
faint on the sidewalk from the weak winter sun.
So tired from late nights, unsatisfying jobs,
pretending to be a grown up, pretending not to care;
my entire being is begging
for a deep, dreamless slumber to rest my weary
head, heart, body.
“Please, please, please,”
they’re begging,
“give me what I want.”
Discontent and disconnect
wear me out.
“Please, please, please,”
I beg,
“give me what I want.”
© Copyright Clueless Cat @http://twentysomethingandclueless.blogspot.com
3WW words: rest, sidewalk, twice
All I’d been waiting for, was for you to consider
the distance between us, physically, then
emotionally. I thought stepping away for a while
would do the trick, would make you miss me. But all it was, was me
waiting tortuously for a phone call, an email, anything
to indicate that you cared; waiting for something to break the silence magnified
by each and every
mile of distance between us.
How foolish I’ve been.
I, who made it too easy for you, practically
begging you to
take me for granted.
I became the person I wanted you to be:
affectionate, thoughtful, sweet for no reason,
and always,
always loving.
(It’s really too bad I can’t date myself.)
I owe myself an apology
for the way I failed me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “No more,
no more.”
© Copyright Clueless Cat @ http://twentysomethingandclueless.blogspot.com
3WW Words: apology, consider, distant (I took the liberty of using ‘distance’ instead…)
The sun slowly approached the sky,
peeking over the horizon, shy at first,
but quickly learning to blaze brightly.
The wind played with my hair,
curling and twisting it in the air,
moving just the way my body had been moving
only a few hours prior.
Another night has come and gone,
slipped out of grasp the way
smooth brown beer bottles slip out of drunken fingers –
loud and obvious but still
barely noticeable all the same.
Bed is calling my name.
Let the sun blaze away, shine in the spotlight
while I rest my weary head;
everybody needs a break once in a while.
© Copyright Clueless Cat @ http://twentysomethingandclueless.blogspot.com 2008
Words: approach, bottle, smooth
**Title still tentative
In an attempt to keep up my poetry, I’ve started checking out blogs that give out prompts on a regular basis. This is my first attempt at a 3 Word Wednesday (3WW).
Tomorrow
My breath catches, heartbeats scatter
at the thought of what a far away tomorrow may bring:
you and me
breathing as one
scattered minds coming together…
tomorrow, tomorrow.
Words: breath, scattered, tomorrow
