Last night I went out to meet one of my uncle’s business partners, who had called his friend in publishing to help me get a job. He doesn’t live in NYC so I wanted to meet him and thank him in person for trying to help me, and WOW. He. Is. SO. Cute! Tall, blonde, blue-eyed, gorgeous. When my friend Meg and I showed up at the bar and were getting our IDs checked, he came over to ask if I was Cat. After I said yes, he introduced himself and then I turned to my friend, mouthing, “He is SO cute!” and she widened her eyes and nodded in agreement.

(I’m going to call him Clark here.) So we went downstairs and Meg and I were both still sober (we’d only had one beer at this point) and after meeting a whole bunch of other people, Clark’s friend Frank (the guy who helped forward my resume on etc) went over to the bar and told the bartender to put our drinks on his tab (score!), so I turned to Meg and said, “Well, this is kind of awkward. Let’s get drunk!” And I ordered our drinks and shots of whisky, and soon Clark came back over and we all started chatting and then it was much less awkward from there.

Things get a little blurry after that, but I do remember having at least 1 more drink and 2 more shots, and then somehow Clark and I got a little…friendlier. We never kissed, but only because he refused to kiss me. We ALMOST kissed about 20 times, but he always pulled away last minute. Obviously, it was very frustrating! I do, however, remember him looking at me like he just wanted to devour me, and saying things like “oh my god…if you weren’t your uncle’s neice, the things I would do to you…” which of course turned me on and piqued my interest at the same time. I asked him “Like what?” but he’d just close his eyes and shake his head, and not say anything. It seriously drove me insane!

I also remember sniffing his neck, because I love that damn boy smell so much! At one point he asked what I was doing and I was like, “Smelling you…you smell so good!” LOL He also randomly massaged my right foot under the table we were sitting at, and I vaguely remember him saying that he’ll give me a massage “next time” – meaning when he comes back in like a few months’ time, who knows!

Anyway. He is so cute, and funny, and the sexual tension was insane. I bet he’s amazing in bed. LoL! But then there are the two obstacles of him living in Texas and also how he won’t touch me because of my uncle. I’m sure I could handle the 2nd one if he lived here…sigh. Argh! So frustrating. I want him!!!

As for Robby, I hadn’t heard from him since Friday until this evening, and I’m also thinking about just ending it because I was starting to get attached, and you’re really not supposed to get attached to a fling. This is also why I’ve been so confused about him and have been unable to write about it, I’ve realized. Because he’s a sweet guy, and a good guy, but I really just don’t see a future with him at all. And he’s fun for now, but you know how it is…after a while you get attached to someone, perhaps because of the habit of seeing him all the time or whatever, but it happens, regardless of where your head is. Well, we’ll see what happens.

I want Clark to get my info from Frank and email/call/text me! But I also feel like the chances of that actually happening is pretty slim, since he lives ages away and also there’s my uncle. Sigh. What’s a girl to do??