So my dad recently went back to school for a graduate degree, part-time (evenings and weekends), and lately has been constantly asking for help. He harrassed me all through halloween weekend even though I emailed him back telling him I’d look through his stuff on Sunday (he called me Friday night to ask, then left me a message Saturday night asking if I’d done it yet), and then I suddenly got all emotional about it when I was at dinner with some friends.
I realize now that the way I was feeling was pretty selfish – I was talking to my friend about how my dad asked me for a year’s worth of membership fees for a club that we’re a part of (under my name) in Hong Kong before I left, and how now I’m totally not even relying on them for anything anymore (financially) and how he expects me to do his homework?
Last night I was trying again, but one thing you should know about my dad is that he is completely clueless about computers. Seriously. My mom told me even bought a “Microsoft Office for Dummies” book (about time, really). So I was trying to help him find the info he needed, but needed to log in to his school’s networks and all that and it got really complicated, and I felt like he was forwarding the wrong instructions to me.
Today, I get an email from my mom saying she was very disappointed in me for not helping my dad. Hello? I was TRYING! I KNOW he’s totally computer illiterate, but I was emailing again trying to help and he wasn’t giving me the right info! What am I supposed to do? Fly over and help him out? As if I have the money for that – and as if my parents are gonna get me a ticket home for the holidays anyway (everyone keeps asking me if I’m going home for christmas – the answer is NO, because I don’t have the money, and my parents said they’d only buy me a ticket if I was moving home).
Ugh, I sound like a spoiled brat, I know. I can’t help feeling this way, but as frustrated as I am with my dad, I feel guilty for not helping him out, or not being able to help him out. Sigh. Parents. What to do with them?
4 comments
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November 6, 2008 at 2:52 am
JenBun
Parents. It’s hard to let them spread their wings and try to fly on their own…
Sometimes they just need a little more help. Try to be patient– with yourself AND with your dad.
You’re great!
November 6, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Princess Pointful
I think they miss you…
My mom is technology impaired to. It is hard to explain something that seem so obvious to someone who has difficulties understanding.
November 7, 2008 at 1:03 am
maris
Poor Dad! He sounds like a big kid. My mom is pretty savvy on the computer but I still get questions like “how to cut and paste.” It’s cute that he comes to you for help! Maybe let him know that you’re always there for him but need advanced notice so that you can make sure you’ll have plenty of time to help.
November 8, 2008 at 12:42 am
Andrea
That is so sad. However, I think people (especially parents) need to respectful of your time. I will call my mom and ask for something and she will tell me how busy she is and that she can’t until much later. Then she will call me or hubs and ask something and it has to be done NOW. I actually brought this up with her (in a jokin manner) and she realized the issue. Maybe if you explain (either in email or phone) that it is hard to do something RIGHT THEN, they may get it?