Obviously, since the boyfriend returned to NYC, I haven’t had sex. For two and a half months. That’s a pretty long time. And now, I feel like random things are just turning me on for no reason, or I’d get turned on doing something completely un-horny.
I really, really want to just jump him when I see him, BUT (there’s always a but, isn’t there…) since he’s kind of been in the doghouse lately, I don’t want to. I mean, physically there’s nothing else I’d want, but emotionally…I’m not sure if it’s the smart thing to do. I feel like if he wants me, he has to earn it, but at the same time, I could look at it as using him (which is probably a more likely scenario anyway, seeing as how I was the one who practically raped him over Christmas), but I’d still feel like he’d be getting lucky – and not necessarily deserving it.
But damn it, I’m horny!
Ah, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what it’s like when I see him at the airport (if he’s still picking me up at the airport…he better. I don’t care that he has to work – he’ll be working on the wknd anyway!) and then take it from there. But I miss him. And, well, you know, being in bed with him. Plus, just knowing I’m finally only a mere few days away from actually being able to reach out and touch him…I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist…It’s weird to think I’ll finally able to actually even, I dunno, poke him with my finger, and he’ll be right there, in the flesh, living and breathing…
I miss his scent. He has the best (natural) smell – like fresh laundry mixed with boy-ness and clean-ness. I can’t wait to bury my face in his chest and just inhale. I read once that females get turned on by men’s natural scents – if that’s true, it won’t be my fault if I just give in to my randiness! He smells better than any other boy I’ve smelled (and I have to repeat that it’s his natural smell – no cologne for my bf.)
I can’t wait for a hug. He is the best hugger, too. (Have you noticed that boys give the best hugs? I’ll bet that’s why they have broad chests…to give their females hugs 
) Fark. I have a feeling my horniness is going to win out – it normally does, and that also normally leads me into some sort of trouble…
4 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 16, 2008 at 5:00 am
JenBun
Just give in to the pleasure, darling!
I tried this, once, with a long-distance bf… I made it through coffee and then I LITERALLY dragged him out of the shop. (Granted, it had been SIX months, but still…)
It will instantly knock down walls between you two, and make the rest of the trip that much sweeter!
March 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm
karen
It’s hard to do long distance. I did it once and it was really difficult. I hope it works out for you!
March 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
tia
there is nothing better than the smell of your boy. (as long as they’ve showered fairly recently.)
March 18, 2008 at 12:33 am
quin
never hold back something you both want…using sex at any time as a weapon is so, so wrong.
see him, follow that feeling in your heart, that ache in your chest…
then, talk. openly, fully, without games or wordplay or anything that trips you up.
let your soul be as naked as your body, and talk.
and love each other again.